April 2003
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In this issue:
In the last couple of newsletters we have looked at practical ways to assist with grooming and looking our best.
This month we are taking a more philosophical view on beauty since many readers have sent us requests to also write about the way we think about beauty - and how to think yourself beautiful.
I came across an interesting quote the other day from Nancy Lane which states "Looking forever young is not an art - it is a practiced science - a studied regime".
We also received a delightful e-mail from one of our readers which reads "I am tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That is deep enough - what do you want - an adorable pancreas?"
But with due reference to the statements above, there is one very important factor not to lose track of, and that is your mental attitude to the way you look.
You can do all the right things - from a great daily skincare regime to regular body and facial treatments, yet, if your mind is not attuned to looking beautiful, then all of these treatments will be in vain.
Our self-image and confidence is as great a part of looking good as that of good grooming and looking after yourself.
Tony Robins, the motivational speaker, makes his trainees do certain exercises to make them feel better about themselves and to increase their confidence and this is a central theme in most self-help courses that are offered.
Your self worth, must never be vested in somebody else, or your outward appearance - it must be securely vested in yourself and you should have an unshakeable belief that you have intrinsic worth to yourself and those around you.
Your value is seated not in what you have achieved, what you own, what you do, who you are married to or such, but your value should be simply in your being - being who and what you are, without comparing yourself to anybody else.
My mother, who has had a difficult life, still has a problem with her own self-worth - and this type of insecurity not only manifests itself in the way that she handles herself in her daily affairs, but also impacts on her general happiness and well-being, which in turn impacts on the way she looks and how others perceive her.
One of the people in our company hates his face so much, that he refuses to look in a mirror - even whilst shaving. The problem that he is experiencing is not that he is ugly, because he isn't, but that his mental picture of himself is totally distorted which happened because he allowed outside factors to influence his self-image.
God, or whichever Deity you believe in, gave you your facial and body attributes, and hating what you have is not conducive to making the most of what you have. This in my book does not preclude you having anything altered cosmetically should it really bother you - but as long as you like the essence of the looks bestowed on you.
A psychologist friend of mine makes his patients with low self esteem stand before a mirror and makes them tell themselves repeatedly that they are beautiful and worth the attention of others - it may be a strange therapy for some people, yet he has had great results. Since we are not mental health care professionals I do not advocate that you do this should you have this problem, but would suggest that you consult with a suitably qualified therapist.
All of us do not look like movie stars or super models, and there is no reason why we should - we are who we are and uniquely so.
Have you ever been at a gathering or party where you saw a person and felt compelled to look at them and thought that you would like to meet them?
They may not have been beautiful or handsome in the normal sense of the word, yet they had a "presence" about them, which draws people.
This is what I would call internal beauty - since they do not only rely on their external looks to make an impression, they are normally secure in themselves as a person, and know their own self-worth.
A strange phenomena that I do not subscribe to is when some women are referred to as, say Mrs. John Smith - why can they not be their own person and be Mrs. Mary Smith - why should their worth be coupled to the person that they are married to?
So - although beauty may be skin deep - the radiance that propels beauty is far deeper seated - and your mental attitude and the picture of what you look like, impacts as much on your physical beauty as that of good grooming / make-up and looking after yourself.
Other articles of interest 
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